I wrote this blog a while ago, and I’ve been quite reluctant to post it because I feel very anxious about sharing this post with you, I’ve changed it 1385973 times, took bits out, put some back in, removed the post all together… it’s taken a lot of courage to press the publish button on this post, so go easy on me.
Social media can give off this persona of perfection. We can all edit what we want the world to see,our instagram feeds are filled with only the prettiest of pictures, edited selfies, we only tweet what we want the world to know about us, making our lives seem filtered to perfection, when really even the people who seem the happiest of all have their problems.
Its not at all difficult to understand why we feel crappy when we compare our lives to those we see online, I’ve done it for sure, and I know it can be super difficult to not think that way.
For today’s blog post, I wanted to share a few of the things I feel insecure about, the reason behind this post is not just to let you guys know that we all have our demons, but also that it’s normal for you to have some too. So long story short, not everyone is perfect, and that is okay!
1. My intelligence.
Dont get me wrong, I know I can be smart, but there are billions of times when I have absolutely no idea what people are talking about, I struggle with particular words that people around me have in their vocabulary, I find myself googling a lot of things and I although I got my maths GCSE at the age of 13 and I was in the local paper for leaving high school with the most GCSEs.. I still feel less intellegant that I should be sometimes, I get a little bit over stressed when I’m writing uni assignments and I worry daily about my ability to get a first class in the degree I’m studying for.
2. I’m fat.
I know it’s kind of a bold word, some people don’t like it, some people are proud and wear their large size with pride, I completely respect that, if you are happy in your own skin, then that is the most important thing, but I am not. I am fat, my thighs don’t just touch, they hug eachother, I have more than one chin, I hate my stomach and my giant arse, my stretch marks are my worst enemy, I feel uncomfortable all day everyday and it’s safe to say that I am definitely insecure about my weight and size. Now I know what you’re going to say, especially if you know me, “you’re crazy, you’re not fat”, nothing annoys me more than hearing those words. I see a doctor every three months for my injection and every time I go I have to be weighed and she tells me I’m overweight EVERY time. I think I will take my doctors advice over my family and friends who don’t want to hurt my feelings, And when you bulge over your favourite pair of jeans you know there’s a problem.
3. Am I creative?
All of my spare time pretty much revolves around creative thinking, my blog, my social media pages (especially at the moment with juggling Blogtober and uni). I kind of have to try really hard to be this creatively minded person and it’s actually something I feel really insecure about, I worry that my posts are not original or interesting enough, that my photography is not right, and although all of my spare time is devoted to being creative, i worry that the creativity i have is not enough.
4. I’m… “boring?”
Kind of linking in with number 3, I worry that my life is kind of mellow. I’m pretty insecure about myself, and I think that people won’t like me as a person, or my blog, simply because I feel as though my life is a little simple and boring and that people won’t be interested. There’s always been that little bit of insecurity about meeting new people and writing new blogs, for this very reason.
There are some other insecurities I have but I don’t want to share my whole life with the rest of the world. But after writing these ones down, it’s easy for you to see that these are all things that can be changed! I can take extra study or read more to help with my intelligence, I can go to the gym and lose weight, I can gain inspiration from other blogs and social media pages to become more creative, and I can get out and do more to become less boring.
Also, besides having all of these insecurities, people have told me I’m smart, people have complimented my figure, so many have expressed their love for my blog, and I have friends and family who want to spend time with me.
The important thing to consider is that while you may think certain things about yourself, big bum? Don’t like your eye colour? it could be the very thing that someone likes the most about you! I want to challenge you to write your insecurities down, then read through them and see which ones you can change, also, ask others, your curly hair that you hate might actually be your boyfriends favourite thing about you. Writing them down also might help you with letting them go, you might not be able to change it, but it can be something you embrace, it’s worth a shot.
Love Kays X