I don’t know why I’m writing this blog post, part of me believes that it might help me feel a little better to get my thoughts out, but here goes. Over the past few weeks, I have been going through a little bit of a bump in the road. When I first started this blog, I was full of ideas and the motivation to pump them all from paper to website. I still have plenty of ideas that I want to get out onto my blog, but my personal problems seem to step in the way and stop me from doing anything, including my blogging.
Two months ago I was so full of stress that I convinced myself that all will be better when I’ve finished the college course. And I’ve recently finished my part time job at sainsburys also. So I’m now unemployed and stress free. So I would have thought.
I am not going to go into specific details explaining exactly what is getting me so down, but I will just say it is a blend of my insecurities. Not liking what you see in the mirror has such a massive effect on everyday life. I find myself some days becoming so unmotivated that I don’t even want to go have fun. Financial trouble also gets in the way of making the most of my first EVER summer break.
This summer break is the first completely free summer break I’ve had in 9 years, as I’ve had a paper round from the age of 12, and a full time or part time job from the age of 16. I spent so long looking forward to these 12 weeks of complete freedom, yet I can’t seem to find time for myself, nor the motivation to control my free time and money, and have fun. Which is making me even more upset because I should be really happy.
I’ve been journaling recently and I’ve discovered that a pattern in my thoughts involve social media playing a large part of getting me down. I wake up every morning and before even leaving my bed I spend some time on social media, seeing things that make me feel bad about myself, and I realise that I’m starting my day, everyday, in a bad mood. I’ve decided that I want to take a short break away from social media and technology, and do some “soul searching”. I need to be doing the things that I wanted to spend my summer doing, and I realise now that in order to get myself back on track, I must take some time to focus on myself and getting over that bump in the road.
I will spend these next 12 weeks focusing on me, and becoming the best me I can be. I want to workout and create a body I am happy to live in. To spend time with Mother Nature and GOOD people.To surround myself with positivity and motivation, read books, meditate and be kind to myself.
I realise that I spend too much of my time with my head in my iPad instead of outside or doing something my future self will thank me for.
This blog is not to announce that I won’t be doing anymore blogs, because I certainly will be. However I will be having a short break from all technology, and my blogging will be less frequent than it normally is.
I wasn’t sure whether to post this blog, but after reading through it actually has made me feel a little better. And there may be other people going through a similar situation. I know what I need to do now.
And I will make sure I get where I need to be.
Love Kays X