On the 28th of September 2015, i celebrated my 21st birthday, I was looking through my photos on my phone and came across a few from that day… and it really made me wonder… I can’t believe it’s been 7 months since I turned 21, it feels like 2 seconds! And I’ve noticed that the older I get the faster time seems to be going, I’m totally scared of turning 22, I feel as though 30 is just around the corner! I wanted to look back over my 21 years and considering am old and wise (kind of) I wanted to pass on a bit of ‘wisdom’ by sharing 21 things I’ve learned in my 21 years!
1: Positivity is important – Remain positive, about everything and anything! Thinking the worst does not help any situation, nor does it change it.
2: One good friend is better than ten bad ones – You will go through life making lots of friends, the truth is… Many of them leave, whether that be from falling out, going off onto different paths/colleges/universities, or simply growing apart. The friends who matter, are the ones who make an effort to stay in touch, and there are friends you meet who you know will be there for life. Don’t worry, the real friends will show themselves, and you will be grateful for a handful of amazing people, more than having lots of friends who you know you simply cannot trust.
3: Life really is too short – You hear this statement thousands of times growing up, your teachers will tell you how fast school will fly, your parents will tell you life is too short to be upset or angry, and you really don’t understand this until school is over & you’ve matured and grown into an adult. You will look back on your childhood and teenager years and think “wow it’s gone so fast”, and “I can’t believe I got so upset/stressed about this/that/those people”, I’m pretty sure if any one could go back and talk to their childhood selves, they would say “everything will be okay, and it will all work out just great, hang in there”.
4: Family is everything – I am certain that I am not the only person who, as a child, thought of their parents as just old people who didn’t know anything, didn’t understand your feelings, were unfair with rules, and were embarrassing. Now I am so thankful for everything they did and still do, they know everything because they were teenagers too, they truly understood because they were teenagers too, and their rules were there to keep me safe and to help me grow and learn – and turn out to be the person i am today, I do not know where I’d be now if I didn’t have them.
5: Money does not make the world turn – You don’t need money to live a happy life, sure, a mansion, a nice car and a few holidays a year would be wonderful. But all the money in the world is not as important as health, family and good friends.
6: Take chances – You regret the chances you didn’t take. I look back on my life up to now and wish I had said yes to more. Make the effort to take chances and make memories, before you are too old to do any of them.
7: Everything happens for a reason – There is a reason behind everything that you go through in your life, if I did not go into full time work when I left school, i may not be on the path to my dream job right now, I would have an a-level in Dance and that probably would have been the end of education for me. Everything you do and go through is for a purpose, to teach you something or to take you somewhere better.
8: Nothing worth having comes easy – If you want that amazing body, you have to work hard for it. If you want that degree, you have to study damn hard for it. Important goals are not handed to you on a plate.
9: Be yourself – Don’t spend your days trying to be someone else, do what you want to do, wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.
10: Don’t believe everything you hear – Not everything is real, those magazines really are photoshopped, 100% of the quick fix diets advertised on the internet will NOT make you super skinny in 3 days, and some people will tell you anything to get your attention/money/time/favours.
11: True love is real – you know when you find it, and if you haven’t found it yet, you WILL find it one day, I promise.
12: Thoughts become things – If you spend your life thinking bad things will happen, convince yourself you will fail that exam, believe that nobody will ever want to be your friend, then these things will happen. Negative thoughts will release negative energy around you and draw in more negativity! Be positive, share positivity, and you will draw in positivity! I recommend watching “The secret”, available on Netflix, if you want to get a better understanding of this concept.
13: Not everyone in this world is nice – At some point in life, you will be hurt by someone, it is inevitable. Unfortunately, there are mean people out there, bullies, fake friends, etc… and there will come a time when you meet one. Brush it off, and save your time and energy for the people who matter. It may seem hard, and upsetting, but as I’ve said before, everything happens for a reason, and you will never know what good is if you don’t experience the bad.
14: Make memories – I have a memory box, (well several actually) which I keep special things in that remind me of the amazing things that have happened in my life, it is so wonderful to sit and look back on what incredible experiences and people you are lucky to have.
15: Jealousy is pointless – You will see/meet people who are maybe more beautiful, more talented, have more friends or have more things than you, and you may feel jealous of them. Jealousy and anger only hurt yourself, it does not hurt the person you are jealous of or angry at, these emotions are like a hot stone, if you hold onto it, it is only going to burn your own hand.
16: Use time wisely – Have you ever looked forward to a day off and done absolutely nothing all day? Then towards the end of the day you wish you had done something productive or gone out with your friends? Yeah, we have all been there! Spend your time on things you enjoy, whether that’s with your friends, family, outdoors, on the sofa, sleeping, whatever! Time happily wasted is not wasted time!
17: Make time for you – Leading on from my last point, ‘me time’ is very important. Once in a while you must take time out for yourself, take a bath, read a book, watch some TV, bake a cake. Spending time with yourself is needed sometimes, other wise we would all go insane.
18: Collect memories, not things – if we were all given £1000, many would spend the money on items. A new bag, a laptop, some jewellery?… I would use the money to pay for experiences, such as a holiday, tickets to a musical/gig, petrol money to cater for a trip to the beach… I would spend time with the people I love, laughing my ass off, having the best times and then look back on the wonderful memories we made, rather than staring at my empty bank balance – knowing all I got from it was a piece of leather or a piece of metal.
19: Take your own advice – Helping out others with their problems and giving your opinion and advice is part of being a good friend, but have you ever said to yourself or had someone say to you “you should take your own advice”? Yes! Your opinions are YOUR beliefs, if you think fake friends are unacceptable, get rid of that fake friend you have! If you think your friend should say what they think, go and express your feelings! Your beliefs are your morals, you can’t give advice if you do not follow them.
20: Education is important – If I had £1 for everytime I or someone else said “I should have tried harder in school”, I would be able to pay for my degree! Education really is the seed to your career, it depends on your grades from school and you do not realise how much they matter until it’s over and you’re deciding what to do for the rest of your life. The world really is your oyster, you can do anything you want to, but you have to work hard to get there!
21: Love the life you live – There will be days where you wish you could curl up in your quilt like a swiss role, stay in bed all day and feel sorry for yourself. There will be days where you are so stressed you could cry, you might even actually cry! But trust me when I say, no matter what you are going through, someone somewhere has it worse.
This life you have is yours, there are no free trials, there are no second chances and you cannot trade it for another. Make this life the best you could ever imagine, take chances, pe positive and more importantly, be thankful for the life you have, each and every single day.
Love Kays X